Preemie Mom’s Inspiration

Sullivan kangarooing with Mom

Having triplets and a health scare myself, I couldn’t help reading this article about a mom’s preemie, and what she did to take a horrible situation and make it an inspiration and a way to help others.

Happy Mother’s Day!  Wish you were here too Mom!  Seven months ago today, we lost you.  I’m so glad you left me with loving siblings who have helped taken up the mantle of grand-parenting. I miss you every day.   By the way, last night I put a cold rag on Big Boy’s head.  He was fussy and tired, and that rag, which you applied to our heads many times, calmed him down.  He fell asleep happy.  Thank you.

Mom (left) with Penn watching Uncle Steve feed a baby brother

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Banning Bake Sales?

Aubrey Thomas rubs his tummy while eating homemade banana bread

One of the great things about being a pastor is that this is the South, and church members still bring the pastor great stuff to eat.  As a pastor in the city, I don’t get as much good stuff as I did in my rural churches, but thank heavens my older members realize that busy pastors with small children could use some nutritional supplements!

Ms. Dorothy brought the Snyder clan another loaf of banana bread last Sunday, and the triplets feasted on the rest of it Monday morning for breakfast.  Aubrey was most impressed, so much so that he made yummy sounds and rubbed his tummy enthusiastically.

I love baked goods, so that means I love bake sales with home made goodies sitting out for purchase.  Our Altar Guild is about to have one, but bake sales have come under fire in schools.

This morning I heard a report that bake sales in schools have been criticized because of America’s childhood obesity problem.  I hadn’t thought about it, but I can understand the concern.  And yet, much of the money goes toward buying equipment that undergirds school athletics, which is certainly a priority in getting kids up and moving.  Are bake sales really the problem?

In Texas, parents raised a good Texan fuss over a law that limits the sale of sodas and sweets in schools when it also meant that they couldn’t bring cupcakes to school for their kids’ birthdays. The amendment to the law is called “The Safe Cup Cake Amendment.”  I’m not kidding.

While offering healthy options over vending machines of sweet soda and food is reasonable, I’m not sure banning bake sales or birthday cupcakes is going to make a dent in our unhealthy eating habits??

One thing I did learn recently on my trip to New York City.  I lost about four pounds in four days because I walked everywhere.  Boy, wouldn’t it be nice if we could use less gas, burn more calories and get to where we needed to go by using our legs?

 

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New York Again!

A few more pictures from New York!  And thoughts about the arts!

Phillip Boykin, me, and Victor

I mentioned Phillip Boykin last Friday in my post and his website.  He’s playing “Crown” in The Gershwins’ Porgy and Bess.  

I learned this week from Lawrence Hamilton that Mr. Boykin has been nominated for an Outer Critics Circle Award for Featured Actor!

Norm Lewis backstage, who plays "Porgy"

Mr. Lewis signed a Playbill for us and addressed it to our oldest, writing, “Penn, hope to meet you soon! Norm Lewis.”  What a way to encourage young people!

The gracious Audra McDonald

Ms. McDonald told us her son is about shoulder-level to her, so she’s a busy mom too with a growing boy.

Lawrence Hamilton and Norm Lewis

Arkansan Lawrence Hamilton with Norm Lewis enjoyed sharing a moment after the show.

And, to our great surprise, we finally got to meet Will Trice, native Arkansan and one of the producers for “Porgy and Bess.”  Will’s folks are the talented Bill and Judy Trice of Little Rock. Trice is also currently a producer on “The Best Man,” a revival on Broadway.

Me, Victor, Will Trice, Phillip Boykin and Lawrence Hamilton

There’s no people like show people–and people from Arkansas!  We Arkansans love our state, and we love the arts, and we have nationally known artists who are great mentors!

More on that in my next post about Mary Poppins at the Walton Arts Center.

 

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The Five Ss

Aubrey is not swattled, but Wyatt and Sullivan are!

Here’s a picture of our triplets at UAMS when they were in the step-down NICU, almost ready to head home.

It’s so hard to believe that I was about to undergo IVF four years ago this May. I would have no idea for six weeks that I was pregnant with triplets.  That revelation was the greatest I’ve ever had in my entire life.  Nothing beats it.

I wanted to share a tip with other new moms or soon-to-be new moms.  This advice was given me, and it really worked with a singleton and with triplets.  Listen to the nurses who send you home with instructions to swaddle your infant.  Swaddling, along with side/stomach position, shushing sounds, swinging and sucking are techniques suggested by pediatrician Dr. Harvey Karp (The Happiest Baby on the Block).  These induce what Karp calls a “calming reflex” to soothe babies as they come out of the womb, providing almost a fourth trimester as babies adjust to the incredible about of stimuli present in their new environment.

I used and loved these techniques.  They were especially helpful with the triplets, who were also on a schedule.  I believe in schedules, and I also think that’s what you get when you bring a baby home, a new schedule.  They are already eating roughly every 2-3 hours anyway, so keeping to that routine as the baby gets bigger also works to keep them fuller and ready to sleep longer stretches at night without food. Between a schedule and the five Ss, I kept more sanity than I might have otherwise!

Now, there is research, just out that the five Ss are important for those first, painful vaccinations. Check out the study reported this week on NPR.

I’m so thankful I’m in a job as a pastor.  The good news is that I get to meet and greet lots of new babies and parents in my vocation.  That gives me a great baby “fix”!  And, I hope, occasionally, I can offer some helpful advice.

However, we all have to find our own way into the parenting abyss!

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New York, New York!

Daddy and Mommy (a.k.a. Vic and Betsy) enjoying a carriage ride in Central Park

We have had few opportunities to get away since the triplets were born, or, even since Big Boy came into our lives.  We went to the beach when the triplets were 8 months old, but we did take Big Boy.  Finally, in 2010, with much persuasion and great desire for adult-time, we went to Cancun for five days.

But since then I’ve gone back to work and time off is precious.  We usually spend it with the children.  Why not?  We don’t think we see enough of them!

Yet, as I reminded my husband, we need time alone.  I observed other couples I admire in my family taking time to travel by themselves without the kids, so I know it’s something mommies and daddies need, but it’s always hard to plan and to take the time.

Finally, we did it.  We went to New York last week, stayed near Central Park, and walked everywhere.  I shopped.  He read in the park some.  We had good Italian and enchanting Mexican, as well as good old-fashioned deli food.  And, then, of course, we did one of our very favorite things. We went to Broadway shows, two plays and two musicals. (More on that in future blogs about the trip.)

To our delight, we met up with our dear friend Lawrence Hamilton, who happened to be in New York for a few days himself.  (Lawrence is an Arkansas-bred talent who’s been in local shows at the Rep, taught at Philander Smith College, and is a Broadway star himself.)

My husband suggested he find tickets to a show, a matinee, and that we all go together.  None of us had seen The Gershwins’ revival of Porgy and Bess, so Lawrence acquired some house seats from one of his friends in the show, Phillip Boykin, who plays “Crown.”  There’s some talk Boykin may be nominated for a Tony, and we hope so!

Me near the theater with the "Porgy and Bess" poster in the background

What I noticed about the poster outside the theater was not just Audra McDonald, a Broadway superstar and her picture as “Bess,” but Norm Lewis was “Porgy”!

So what?  What does this have to do with kids and families and mommies?

A good friend of ours and our children, “Aunt Mary,” gave us the 25th anniversary dvd edition of Les Mis at Christmas because she’d indoctrinated Big Boy with some of the music on their special Razorback football weekend in Fayetteville.  (She doesn’t have any of the Wiggles cds!)

Big Boy loves the conflict between “Javert,” the policeman, and “Jean Valjean,”  the prisoner and convert.  In that, dvd version of the show, “Javert” is played by Norm Lewis!  So, we were going to be watching “Javert” in real time!

Let me say that this might not be an exceptional story for most children, but our oldest has been in dance for four years, so his interest in the theater is real.  We don’t care if he ever does anything more than appreciate the arts, but these are the kinds of experiences parents ought to work toward.  That doesn’t mean you have to go to New York.  We see lots of good shows right here in Little Rock at the Arkansas Repertory Theater and locally.  We take him when it’s appropriate, like the recent production of “The Wiz” at the Rep.

I’m packing up this morning for us to head to Fayetteville to the Walton Arts Center.  We’ll be seeing Case Dillard tomorrow afternoon performing as “Bert” in Mary Poppins.  Dillard got his training right here in Arkansas at Shuffles!

So last weekend, I had time off from work and enjoyed my husband, just the two of us.  Tonight and tomorrow, I will have one-on-one time with a good friend, “Aunt Mary,” and Big Boy.  At the theater!

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Eggs Are Hatching

Finch eggs in my Easter wreath

A few weeks ago, I came home from work one Sunday and noticed a finch was flying in and out of my wreath.  I looked in the wreath near the door and discovered a pretty little nest taking shape in the midst of my silk hydrangea blossoms and ivy leaves.  I doubted she’d keep it up. That’s our front door. The main door, and there are a lot of boys coming in and out of that house through our main gate way.

What do I know?  Maybe she likes the chaos of the Snyder household.  She stuck with it, finished her nest, and laid some beautiful blue eggs, which have since hatched only a few days ago. (Boy, I’d say they are in the preemie stage with just a little fluff and not much else!)

Every year near Easter, I get my boys’ pictures made.  I have a long-time photographer friend I’ve been using for a long time, before I ever had kids.  Although we usually go to her studio, Dixie came out this morning with her assistant and shot photos in the front yard.  It was great fun and by far the easiest shoot we’ve ever had.  It also allowed Mom and Dad to get in the act, and we even had one made by ourselves.

And the thought of us in a photo alone leads to my next big milestone.  Mom and Dad are headed to New York next week for a four-day getaway, the first in six years by ourselves.

Somehow we’ve built a nest in the midst of an amazing amount of chaos. Occasionally, I do get stressed, but I really don’t know what I did before my eggs hatched.  I’m sure I had way too much time.

Sullivan, Penn, Wyatt and Aubrey

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A Blur

Big Boy rides solo! (Note the new rock garden behind him--more on that in the next post!)

When I was learning to ride a bike, I had a two wheeler with broken pedals.  I’d go up to the top of our street and coast down.  There were no brakes, so the one time I lost control, I scraped my face after a flight over the handle bars.  I think that may have been when my mom decided to get me a new bike.  But the truth is, I learned to ride by balancing, not by training wheels.

Right after the triplets were born, I got Big Boy his first big bike.  It took him a year or two to really consider using it.  He preferred the oversized trikes at pre-school.  That’s when I decided to buy three of those for his brothers.  He’s continued to “share” theirs with some minimal progress on his two wheeler with training wheels.

Recently, one of our babysitters pointed out that in France, they take off the pedals, as well as the training wheels to teach kids how to get that balance thing.  That seemed right to me, since I learned to balance with defective pedals.  My husband tried to remove the bike’s pedals, but couldn’t. He did get Big Boy’s training wheels off, and they’ve practiced some balancing.

But Tuesday night was the big night.  Big Boy was riding a trike, one of his brothers.  The boys had started a game of coming down the grassy hill of our side yard and landing on the concrete drive.   Big Boy was forced to hand over Wyatt’s trike, and began a major pout and whine that he didn’t have a bike.  I grabbed his bike, and reminded him that he could do the same thing, since they weren’t pedaling down the hill, just coasting.

In less than five minutes, Big Boy had begun to put his feet on the pedals and push himself forward.  I ran in and got my camera, and took a bit of video.

Where does the time go?  My husband and I are coming up on 9 years of marriage and four kids.  It’s spring again.  All those dead-looking bulbs are coming alive.

I’m reminded that there’s no day like today, is there?

Sullivan, Wyatt and Aubrey at the garden center. Their 3rd spring!

 

 

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I Can’t Afford One of Those Nannies

Let’s talk about babysitters and nannies!

Mar-Mar, her husband and Big Boy: a visit after she moved.

Nannies Rho and Lacey gave us a "free" day of sitter help when we all went to our first Travs game!

Poom went to Washington D.C. with us for a trip to the Congressional picnic at the White House!

I have had plenty of issues selecting babysitters, and I’m (we are) very fortunate  to have had some really great babysitters, from Ms. Jo to Mar-Mar, to Manny Myron for Big Boy.  There’s been Nanny Rho, Poom, Lacey, Mollie, Araya, and Mr. Mark for the little boys.  And, one of them, Lisa, the nannyfornewborns.com, helped us with sleep training for everyone.  What an incredible technique she has!

There is always something to work out, though.  Sometimes it’s scheduling.  Sometimes it’s getting everyone paid on time (we have about 4-5 babysitters who regularly help, even if it’s in the afternoon a few hours or a specific weekend night!).  Sometimes, we’re delegating household chores. (Two of my nannies are great organizers and helped me clean out closets have a day on spring break!)

There have also been a few terrible people, as in duds, who I almost had come into our home!  Last fall, I had a couple of prospects who came in to my house while contemplating us hiring them, didn’t like me or my presentation of the job and wished me luck trying to find someone to work with my kids.  One of them had told one of our permanent sitters that she planned to quit at Christmas when her sixteen year old child would be giving birth.  We had no idea her daughter, whom she brought along, was pregnant.  Did I mention that Christmas is my busiest time of year, as a pastor, and as the mother of triplets who are born December 9?  Excuse me, but why did you even apply for a job where there are three and sometimes four children on the premises??!!!!

Mostly, I’ve been very lucky, even though I can’t afford the $200,000 a year nannies.

The report I’ve linked above indicated that some folks pay a package close to this amount. Whew!  One babysitter was hired because he could drive a zamboni, and the family owned an iceskating rink!  Mostly, these high-paid nannies were acquired not only because of excellent references or particularly good skills, but because they are willing to have no life.  If the wealthy parents want to leave town or the country at the last minute, the babysitter must cancel his or her plans.  One nanny decided to leave her current employer for less money to have a life.

I’m thankful for the great nannies/babysitters we’ve had.  It’s good to know that the high-priced ones aren’t necessarily better; they just don’t have a life!  We have a lot of sitters, but they do have lives.

Here’s to good babysitters, me having a life, and them too!

We also have had amazing volunteers like our friend Lisa.

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Bed-time Books

Sullivan, Wyatt, Aubrey and Penn reading with Momma

One of our babysitters works at the library.  Recently he brought us a box of discards.  My first thought:  “Oh no!  Not more books!”  Perhaps I should mention that we have about one gazillion books.  I’ve had to buy four new baskets for the boys’ bedrooms to have a place to neatly store the new books.  We could never put all of them on shelves, even though there are a three shelves full in the play room.  Now might be a good time to confess that my husband and I have lots of printed books. I’m trying to purchase more ebooks for my nook, but I still like the feel of books, especially children’s books.

When I was young, I remember the RIF program.  Reading is Fundamental.  It’s the oldest program of its kind (45 year-legacy!), giving away books to prepare and motivate kids to read no matter the income level.  The new kid on the block is Reach Out and Read, a program our pediatrician uses to help distribute books to children.

I was ashamed when I read on RIF’s website,”There is only 1 book for every 300 kids in poverty.” That’s why RIF and Reach Out and Read allow you to donate books, so that they can be distributed to all children, particularly  for those who need early literacy exposure and are at-risk for not getting that opportunity.

Sometimes I’m so tired at night.  I think of my mom who had five kids.  When we had her memorial service, one of my brothers remembered how great she was to read to us.  And when asked, she’d keep going.  Perhaps that’s one reason why all of us like to read, and we all read the newspaper daily.  The other may be that my dad, who had an 8th grade education, read the paper cover-to-cover every day.  As one of my brothers said  at his memorial service, “That’s how our father got an education.”

Big Boy, almost six, is starting to read.  It’s happening.  And he loves our time at night when we read chapter books.  Right now, we’re reading Julie Andrews’, “Bo” and an abridged children’s version of “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.”

Last night, our Sullivan carried a book to bed.  P.D. Eastman’s, “The Best Nest.”

Thanks, Mom and Pop.  I’ll figure out somewhere to put the books and take some joy in giving some away.

And don’t anyone tell the dentist that we still haven’t gotten rid of the pacis!

 

 

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Homebaked Hostess

The boys enjoying "my" cupcakes.

I guess it’s partly their age, but my boys love to gather ’round my new Kitchenaid professional mixer.  Daddy gave it to me for Christmas.   I’ll admit that it’s really too fancy for me.  I love to bake, but my cooking has suffered these last few years.  I simply don’t have time to do it anymore, not creatively anyway.

Still, as busy as I am with work these days (I’m a pastor and our church has had 7 funerals in the last 8 weeks) I try to bake something with the boys at least once a week.  They love cupcakes, so I pull out a baking mix, they pull up their stool and bar chairs, and we begin the process.

I love batter, but my husband, being a doctor and all, is not keen on me passing out dough with raw egg because of the salmonella risk.  That means I have to pass out a “taste” before the eggs go in.  I know they like the tasting, but they also love that big old high-tech whirring mixer, they love its loudness, its whipping noisiness, and its product!

I haven’t made much from scratch lately.  I’ve been daydreaming about a Liza Ashley (Thirty Years at the Mansion) pound cake, but instead I’m cheating, pulling out my helper the Pillsbury doughboy or my good friend Betty Crocker.

It could be worse.  I could be buying Twinkies and Hostess cupcakes.  If you’re nostalgic about those horrible, wonderful treats, check out these recipes for duplicating them at home.  I don’t have time to make them, but it sure was fun reading about it!

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